The Power of Closure.

The most neglected character in human nature is perhaps, the simplest, but a little-understood situation that has stunted growth in past and present interactions; Closure. Closure relegates the feeling of rejection with the sense of acknowledgment as to why something one-sided took place.

That "bad situation" often involves a one-sided break-up where the person terminating the relationship has not acted compassionately, decently, or even humanely in the aftermath. In an attempt to renounce accountability and guilt, he or she refuses to give a former partner closure, causing the rejected person tremendous pain and distress.

We often fall back on the notion that only you can give yourself closure perhaps because it's an easy way out for the person who has been broken up to have the perception of control in a situation where realistically none exists. This premise essentially holds some truth: We are all given the responsibility of taking care of our own lives.

Finding closure comes with a cost albeit if left unattended, it may make things worse. This is because when someone is rejected and denied the chance to get honest answers about why the relationship ended, they are left robbed of their dignity. In this vain, unknown to many, the advice to 'get your own closure' inspires the sentiment that the person rejected is solely responsible for finding peace and for moving past a decision they do not fully understand or will never reconcile with; one that they did not conjure. It's a make-believe world.

Closure is essentially knowing the reason a romantic relationship came to an abrupt end. A situation where one no longer feels an emotional attachment or pain to something or someone, thereby allowing that person to establish new and healthy relationships. The pain that follows a breakup is thus not only caused by the partnership that is lost, but also by the lack of clarity about why the relationship was dissolved.

Continued ...

Memoir #11.

Comments

Intentionality.

For starters, happy new year. I have been mulling on doing a piece on intentionality for a while and, for sure, I have mentioned a bit of it to those that I have struck deeper notes of life with. Well, in brief, intentionality is a philosophical concept that refers to the capacity of the mind to be directed toward an object, idea, or state of affairs. It is a fundamental aspect of consciousness, enabling individuals to have thoughts about something, engage in purposeful actions, and maintain focus on specific goals or outcomes. Originating from the work of philosopher Franz Brentano in the 19th century, intentionality distinguishes mental phenomena from physical phenomena by highlighting the inherent directedness or "aboutness" of mental states. In everyday life, intentionality manifests in our ability to plan, deliberate, and navigate complex social interactions, as it involves both conscious and unconscious mental processes that guide behaviours and decision-making. In tha...

Learning the ropes.

A reset is something that hits you when you least expect it. Just like sickness, it knocks at your door at odd hours, bringing with it a period of great adjustments and shifts. A bit of a background story, a couple of weeks ago, I was reading an anecdote by Norman Vincent Peale (the father of positive thinking) where the author posits that one should change their thoughts if they wish to change the world. This got me thinking; all those instances where I have seen people on the streets or in restaurants in seemingly boisterous conversations and showing broad smiles unassumingly made me think that they might be living life happier than mine. I assumed that they were happier than me or even smarter than me. Instances are rife where we sit in our little apartments imagining what it would be like to be someone else. That feeling that we often behold that everyone around you seems to be doing better than you, or the one where we feel that piles upon piles of decks are stack...

Fears and Wars

He has his own fears, often he beholds his own wars, some days with a raised face and at times with a downcast smug. Hate and love are two perfect sides of a coin, there is no in-between. He often tries not to judge people that he rans into amidst the craziness of life. Some new, some acquaintances and many that he has known over long conversations. His type of conversations covers short spurts of strenuous "hellos" and "heys". The amount of fake charades on people's faces and actions always makes his heart cringe; not with fear but with a lot of pain. It takes a certain amount of opening up to get to let people into his life, especially when one is reserved. And when he does, his life resides there; a center of unhinged openness . He hates changes and often a great deal is characterized with a Traditionalist view. He likes to see things organized in a certain way; less drama. Untidy workplaces irritates the comfort in him, and interrupted schedule screws up ...

Random Stirrings of The Mind.

Search This Blog