The unspoken bond it is, the constant availability, the
relentless promise that is in friendship ... A concise definition, that summons
reality to the surface. For friends, you might see them each and every day,
once a year maybe, or less. Or, you might hardly see them, but you constantly
keep in touch by phone, email, or online.
Friends might come and go (sad reality), they might make you
laugh and cry, but most importantly of all, they love you for who you are.
I have come to believe that it doesn’t matter what a person
looks like or what kind of clothes they put on. It’s what is inside of them
that counts and your friends should no doubt, know that about you.
Likewise, having friends means you've got a specific
responsibility. Respect, reciprocate and love!
Question, do you remember who your childhood friend was? Do
they appear to exist, or, do they seem to be like figments, fragile pieces of
memory that crumbles when you turn it in your head? It is a possibility, but
try not to lose your friends. TPut together, they make up the tiny threads of your personality
as you grow up.
It’s the mindfulness of childhood friendship that I, so dearly
miss. Most of my close friends have over 1,000 “friends” or "followers"
on their social media accounts. They say they don’t know half of them, and that
some of them are regarded as “frenemies,” "competition," and mostly
"secret crush." The same interwebs give them the option of corralling
people into “acquaintances,” or “close friends” and, naturally, they always
have the option of clicking the “unfriend button.”
This begs the question, are the majority of these people, friends or are they just names to fill up our inflated egos and show the world
that we have "friends"? The
social sphere, can with one click show everything that’s going on in people’s
lives without showing anything going on in their hearts. But is that
friendship?
I’m told that empathy blossoms in the usual way, but I have my
doubts. The "social-generation" at this day and age have a lot of
self-advertising talent, but are they, I wonder, close to the point where a bad
breakup, say, isn’t a moment of opportunity for the protective and dignifying
balms of old friendship, but simply a quiet day on social media?
The times we live in are big on loyalty (Followers, friends or
even the trendy name "squad" 😀😀)
Technology has driven us wild with questions of loyalty to
flags, to nations, to a “way of life” or to brands who give out “loyalty
points” to those who stay tight.
Point! The only kind of loyalty that matters is to know your
friends and stick with them. A person's relationship has nothing really to do
with outside people, or with your self-image or with status updates, and
perhaps our vision of friendship has been degraded by the instantaneous,
relentless nature of the social media.
I always imagine if we can replace “watch and click” with
“listen and feel,” close the curtains and mix two drinks, download nothing,
“share” nothing but lose a friend's time in the sort of communication that has
nothing to do with stalking, crushing, or what's trending or even the outrageous
"gaining of followers."
All those trendy-bikini-wearing lasses or the
well-muscled-gym-going lads, trendy cars and what-not, do get all the big
headlines, but friendship is where the action is, especially if you consider
that it is really a lack of friendship that makes an unhappy relationship.
Fundamentally, I strongly believe it’s the art of friendship that warms you in
the various winters and cold Julys of your discontent, and when you’re in
trouble you don’t want 1,000 people, but just one, that one friend that you can
trust and who can listen to you.
The late Muhammad Ali said, “Friendship is the hardest thing
in the world to explain.” “It’s not
something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship,
you really haven’t learned anything in life.”
Gerry.
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