Unfinished Business

2015, you've been a devastating year to me. I feel your wickedness all over what's left of me, it tastes like bile in my tongue; contempt written all over my face, I glance around, cussing, my insides writhing with discord. Why, oh why? You started with promise; the stars looked brighter than ever. I swear I could see through to December.

But somewhere midway; I don't know what happed, somehow, I think I got carried away by fortuity, I mean; a place to work, great friends, amazing colleagues and much more. I saw opportunities, one after the other. I saw that take-off, unperturbed, I took the bull by the horns, locked my eyes at my nose. Dark shades to say the least.

Woe unto my sights,the reigns broke, the carriage toppled. I have never seen a trailer before a truck, at full throttle on The 98, doing a 90 mile per hour over the inter-state.

This life, oooh, it just turned hue and smoky. I walked right into a mine field, coroners waiting at the end. Vultures circling the air and their high-pitched blood-curdling cries sending more than shivers. I could smell a devastating hand of lose beckoning, a wry smile written all over its face.

I hold this pain in the insides of me, it slowly churns, burns like acid, eating up what's left of hope. There is a constant rumble and a reminder of how fate, has turned her face away from me and destiny has taken over, leaving a permanent ache of wanting to run away from everything; people, responsibility, work, name it.

I have friends, I no longer look at them straight, Everyday, I wake up chewing the last straws of strength gained from sleeping, to walk up a flight-of stairs to the roof-top and bask in the sun, mulling over pain, with a distant look nonetheless. I go over photos, thinking of how life was good, how going out was as easy as staying in-doors. I can't take it anymore. Closing my eyes, feeling the warmth of the morning sun, I whispered a silent prayer, to the skies, so genuine it was, that my heart rippled with pent up despair. I made a distress call to the One who has never left.

Today... Something stirred deep within. With a little resolve, I began typing away...

Gerry.

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