"Love and make me feel Special." Respect me in Return then.

Most women often say," I just want someone to love me, to make me special, to make me the most important one in his life." No one seizes on these words and accuses women of being prima donnas or egomaniacs as Dr Eggerichs puts it in his book Love & Respect.

Yet when a man says he needs to be respected, he is often labelled, especially in our culture, as arrogant. In the days of courtship, the woman may think that her suitor is motivated to ask her out and more so to be his partner because of her love. After all, love is what is motivating her. That huge love and admiration in her for her man. But more than she realizes, it is her unique and intimate admiration that wins her man's heart. The old saying puts it: "Every man does what he does for admiration of one woman." In courtship times, when he asked her out, she became that woman and he took it meekly and out of his own heart to gain that courage to express his feelings. He felt deep feelings of love for her, but they came out of his being convinced that she respected him and admired him. She was striking a chord deep within him that literally drove his life then as his life today.

Men hold respect and honor as almost equal values. Being a man, in our arena as men, we have an honor code, and if we don't live by that honor code, we're in big trouble. We have learned from boyhood that there are certain things you just don't do, certain things you just don't say. A woman will talk to her man in private in the way that a man would never talk to him. He can't believe she can be so belligerent, so disrespectful.

The man will often look away, wanting to drop the argument and move on. He doesn't want to talk about it. Why? Because he feels engulfed and overpowered by his woman's dark countenance, negative emotions, and combative venomous words. All this annoys him and incites him the more. so he withdraws. To him, That is an Honourable thing to do!

Intentionality.

For starters, happy new year. I have been mulling on doing a piece on intentionality for a while and, for sure, I have mentioned a bit of it to those that I have struck deeper notes of life with. Well, in brief, intentionality is a philosophical concept that refers to the capacity of the mind to be directed toward an object, idea, or state of affairs. It is a fundamental aspect of consciousness, enabling individuals to have thoughts about something, engage in purposeful actions, and maintain focus on specific goals or outcomes. Originating from the work of philosopher Franz Brentano in the 19th century, intentionality distinguishes mental phenomena from physical phenomena by highlighting the inherent directedness or "aboutness" of mental states. In everyday life, intentionality manifests in our ability to plan, deliberate, and navigate complex social interactions, as it involves both conscious and unconscious mental processes that guide behaviours and decision-making. In tha...

Learning the ropes.

A reset is something that hits you when you least expect it. Just like sickness, it knocks at your door at odd hours, bringing with it a period of great adjustments and shifts. A bit of a background story, a couple of weeks ago, I was reading an anecdote by Norman Vincent Peale (the father of positive thinking) where the author posits that one should change their thoughts if they wish to change the world. This got me thinking; all those instances where I have seen people on the streets or in restaurants in seemingly boisterous conversations and showing broad smiles unassumingly made me think that they might be living life happier than mine. I assumed that they were happier than me or even smarter than me. Instances are rife where we sit in our little apartments imagining what it would be like to be someone else. That feeling that we often behold that everyone around you seems to be doing better than you, or the one where we feel that piles upon piles of decks are stack...

Fears and Wars

He has his own fears, often he beholds his own wars, some days with a raised face and at times with a downcast smug. Hate and love are two perfect sides of a coin, there is no in-between. He often tries not to judge people that he rans into amidst the craziness of life. Some new, some acquaintances and many that he has known over long conversations. His type of conversations covers short spurts of strenuous "hellos" and "heys". The amount of fake charades on people's faces and actions always makes his heart cringe; not with fear but with a lot of pain. It takes a certain amount of opening up to get to let people into his life, especially when one is reserved. And when he does, his life resides there; a center of unhinged openness . He hates changes and often a great deal is characterized with a Traditionalist view. He likes to see things organized in a certain way; less drama. Untidy workplaces irritates the comfort in him, and interrupted schedule screws up ...

Random Stirrings of The Mind.

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