He Remembers.

He’d write you this letter, but he knows, the good ol’ days are gone. blame the vagaries of life. The bits that used to make your heart fluster; the butterflies in your stomach? This are words, poured into this piece, to remember a graceful person, to honor a time that made his world a place to relish. Truth be said, weathering this time is daunting and he got no idea how it is going to be. He’s held onto hope; he knows too well of it’s tingling taste in his mouth. He’s beheld countless nights of little to no sleep and unsettled sighs and heaves, oh the world that was!

The song titled For You by John Denver bellows through the dark headphones tightly holding his sanity together, He can’t help but feel every second and minute pass by so slowly. That is a song he would be singing in the shower with an upbeat mood, relishing the gifts of life. It’s a heavy one this bit, He doesn’t know if his shoulders can hold onto the weight really. He is scared, not that the world’s turned colder, but because the truth is finally settling in. Little does the world understand of what to be a man. You see, everyone expects him to make his bed and lie on it and still hold him to question about having his cake and eating it too. Figuratively, once he takes his cake it’s gone, nothing on his hand, nada! So he can’t keep it.

Understandably, it all boils down to letting go and let live. (for those who apprehend the meaning) The ones loved, are those that get away. Beguiling, isn’t it? He can’t question the reasons; why the good ones are always bereft of joy. For some of us, all we are asking for is some space to be who we are. Not to be judged because of what we believe in. Is it true that if we cannot change in life, change will ultimately change us?

Nothing’s going to get fuzzy, she made her life the center of his world. Now she is gone, through the backdoor. He looks out of the window, dark and gray. The weather stares back, impervious of the on-goings in his life. His body is there, but the mind is wandering, posing questions that cannot be answered. The cold bites hard; highland weather, nothing he can do about it really. The chimney is leaking. A fire would have been crackling in there. It rained hard this afternoon and all the wood is wet. Downcast cannot even begin to describe the atmosphere in and out. Heart’s grown cold too. He asks the world why it’s brought him trials after trials. Mind’s a mess. Every bit and piece of her touch and feel lingers on, he can picture her face; astute and beautiful even in darkness. He fell real hard; the tumble resounding. He loved everything about her. Great mind, a body to die for, her lips tasted of wild berries, her personality evoked a sense of tranquil in every room she walked into. Her laughter stirred deep longing in him. She loved blue, those subtle little fingers could touch his soul, her favorite drink; tea. He shivers, feeling the biting cold deep inside his soul. He misses her. Undone. Time’s been tough, for him.

Memoir #1

G,L